A Message from an Overachiever with a Restless Heart for God
So often my friends and colleagues ask me, “Do you sleep?” This question is understandable because I can sometimes appear to be constantly working on a new project instead of enjoying my life. Therefore, I always pause before answering because I don’t know if the person is applauding my effort to accomplish my goals, questioning my ability to find peace and contentment in this life or if I look tired and weary from my work. Either way, the question ultimately leads me to think about Christ and his time on earth.
In only 33 years, Christ healed the sick and fed the poor. He counseled people in need and taught those who sought knowledge and understanding. He worked miracles that changed lives and fought for what was right. He loved people who didn’t love him back and he sacrificed his life for our sins. In 33 years on earth, Christ accomplished more than I or anyone could ever accomplish.
So, do I sleep? Yes. Comfortably. Because the things God has asked me to do with my time on earth is worth the sacrifice. It’s worth the long days writing, running my business and nonprofit, and taking care of my family. It’s worth the hard times when I’m unsure of myself but refusing to quit. Don’t misunderstand my work ethic or the work ethic of people in your life like me. I have an amazing life that I want to live like Christ. I’m just focused on one thing, and one thing only – hearing God say to me, “Well Done!” Then I will rest with him in peace for eternity.
Michelle Jackson is an entrepreneur and nonprofit leader and author of fictional novels The Heart of a Man and From Darkness to Night. To learn more about her work, visit http://www.authormichelledjackson.com.
I saton the edge of my seatduringthelastchurch service oftheyearstaringat theoversized crossabove thebaptismpool. Painstakingly at peace,I’dturned off the hundreds of undone tasks that ranthrough my mindbefore entering the sanctuaryandhitpauseon the demands the world had thrown at my feet.I was present and without distractions. Surrounded by myloving husband and twelve-year-old son,I was readyto be engulfed in the word of Godandunusually giddybecauseno matterthe difficult times thatcame my wayduring the past year,the cross– the very one Christ carried formy salvationthrough the streets ofJerusalem–had beenmyrefuge,and I was thankful.
As thepackedchoir bellowed the second verse ofthe song, ‘I Got A Testimony’,my son tugged at my blouse sleeve.Heasked, “Momma, what is a testimony?”A bit caught off-guard,I sat with his words for a moment before beingreminded ofall the wonderful things– including my son –God had given me.See, it wasn’t whatheasked thatmade me reminisce;it was what he called me. He called me “Momma,” atitle I’d prayed many days to hear,andlooking into his beautiful face;I knew it was time to sharewith the worldhowGod had transformedour lives.
Mytestimony startedwhenthe first of seven doctors told me that I would never give birthto a child;the countless nights I cried when I thought of allthe bedtime stories, pillow fights,and Christmas mornings I would never share with myownson or daughter,andwhen Iwas forced to acceptthat Imayhave to give up onmy desire to have a family.Ifeltrejected, excluded, and pushedaside.Despite my desires andprayers, God had other plansfor me,and it wasn’t motherhood.
For a while,thisreality severed my faith. I was different and not because I wanted to be,but because GodbelievedI had the strength, patience,and fearlessness to overcome thechallenges of infertility.However,I didn’t agree at first. I wasn’t fearless or strong;I was hurt and confused.
Being a mother was important.My mother was wonderful, but God took her too soon,andI was surrounded bycaringwomen who were blessed toraise a generation of children.I wanted to be like them and to experience motherhood.I wanted to give back to this world and I thought becoming a mother was the best way to do it. But when infertilitystruck, my husband and I had to re-think how we would create our family. And in our darkest moment, someone special in our lives reminded us that it is not the blood that builds a family, it’s the love.
WhatI learned during thischallenging periodwas the importance of trusting Godand not leaning onmyown desires. I also learned thatGod gives us what we need and creating a family through biological means isn’t the only way to do it.
God has each of us on a path–thedestination is the cross, andthe journey to get there is as unique as a fingerprint.Throughout our lives,weoftenfindourselvesat a fork in the road thatforcesus to decidewhether to walk with Christand let him leadus inthe rightdirectionorturnaway and godown an opposing path.
For years,Ithought I was makingallthe right moves. I got marriedto a wonderful manandhad a great career.My health was good, and my spiritual walk seemed solid.The next step was to havea child. That was the paththe worldwanted me to beon,but God had other plans.God selectedmyfamily tobe an example to other familiesstruggling with infertility,and to remind the world that each of our journeys are stepping stones towardshisgreatermissionto savemankind.Hisplanfor howwe created afamily wasneveronlyabout meor my husband. Infertilitywasn’t a burdenwe were cursed to live withnor waschildlessness;instead,it wasour journey to find andhelpa beautifullittle boywhoneededahome. A little boylike thousands ofchildren around the countrywho are looking forparents to love and care for them. Our sonwasbroughtinto our lives to give us themeaningful purpose that God wanted us to have.
FINDING PEACE IN THE WAITING ROOM
For eleven yearsI waited for God to show up in my situation unknowing that he had been there from the start.When I look back, Irealize thatfor eleven years I’dpacedthe floor ofthe hospital waiting room anticipating good news from the doctor.While Iwas waiting for man togivemea positive report,God had already givenme the victory.Although I woredown the sole of countlessshoes andtroubledmyself with fearand anxiety overmy infertility, it wasn’t until I stopped worrying andstarted trusting God that things changed.
When I stopped wanting what other people had and started asking God to give me what hedesiredformy lifemy journey took a positive turn. I walked out of the waiting room, felltomy knees,and opened my heart toChrist. And what did he do? He delivered,restoredandhealed.
I didn’t get the time backthatI lost. I didn’t give birthto a child. I didn’t get all the answers I wanted but what I got was a son. He calls me “momma” and helovesme,although I didn’t birth him, or rock him to sleep when he was a toddler. Ineversaw his first steps or heard his first words. Nevertheless, I’venow had years tohug,holdand lovehim. We’ve shareda million good times and expressed our happiness for findingand creating abeautifulfamily.
So,when he asked, “Momma, what is a testimony?” I hugged him tightlythen explainedthat a testimonywasour proof of God’s presence in our life; proof of his unwavering love and sacrifice. It’s our story of victory– we have a story of victory.
Michelle D. Jackson is theauthorof the inspirational novel, The Heart of a Man. Follow her on Facebook @AuthorMichelleDJackson.
My husband and I would like to thank the Three Rivers Adoption Council for helping us experience parenthood and giving us a beautiful testimony.
SCROLL DOWN to learn about my passions, joys and pains.
Become my FOLLOWER, INFLUENCER, SUBSCRIBER OR FRIEND.
Peek into my SCRIPTED LIFE.
Illustrate your acceptance with FUNNY EMOJIS and EDITED GIFS.
Let’s fellowship through WORDS and PICTURES and VALIDATE each other with half-moons that turn into smiling faces.
Let’s solidify our bond with the perfect selfie and SHARE with the world the beauty of our online FRIENDSHIP.
This is what relationship building looks like in the 21st century – this is the online community we live in.
In full disclosure, I am not a critic of social media. I use social platforms daily to connect with friends and family. I click LIKE often. I watch the silly videos and search, like many people do, for the right emoji to illustrate the joy I feel at connecting with people I care about. But as a social media user and a Christian, I often wonder about the spiritual and moral realities of living in a world that expects me to build strong relationships with people by simply clicking LIKE. I also wonder if the desire to be liked on social media is indicative of our fear that God will not accept nor validate what we choose to reveal about ourselves in cyberspace that we try to hide from him during our quiet time?
Social media has changed how we build relationships and, in many ways, how we see ourselves. It is an effective tool with the capability to bring us together in a positive way, although many people misuse its power. God blessed us with the technology to share our lives with the global community, but when we do so, we should check our like-seeking motives at the door and avoid opening ourselves to pride’s destructive influence.
Satan has waged a vicious war against believers. This war is propelled by our need to be accepted and celebrated by man. Satan has tapped into our propensity to be prideful. Social media plays a role in that, but it is not the culprit. As Christians, our desire for approval should be satisfied by our belief in a living God. God expresses his love for us daily. We do not need the approval of man because man will never save us.
To be liked on social media is not the same as being liked, loved or revered by God. It is a symbol of our admiration for one another that carries no power over who we are or what truly makes us great. It is a small pebble tossed in a giant pond.
The need to be accepted is Satan’s way of forcing Christians to move further from the cross. We see it every day, on the news, in our schools and even in our homes. Children are following the misguided directions of their peers and Youtubers, who are eating Tide pods and drinking boiling hot water. Adults are turning away from the church and biblical teachings and turning towards the latest trends. Politicians are using social platforms to garner support for policies that will hurt the poor while the church struggles to maintain its influence over parishioners and to spread the Gospel without fault or distraction. Garnering the strength to move away from temptation has become harder. We are exposed, more now than at any period in my lifetime, to belief systems that contradict what the bible teaches us. We struggle to do and to say what is right, even when the word of God has not changed or ceased to exist in any way.
God teaches us in 1 John 2:16 (ESV) that the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions is not from the Father but is from the world. He also reminds us in Romans 12:2 (ESV): Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
As mature Christians, it is important to be careful about what we are exposed to. We have a responsibility to the younger generation. We should work to protect them from Satan’s tricks and to help them navigate the world of social media, so they can reap the benefits of these tools without falling prey to Satan’s will.
In this new age of constant connectivity, it is important that we disconnect from the world and reconnect with God.
When I disconnect, I am at my best. Consumed with the love of my family and surrounded by my most powerful ally – Christ Jesus. Being liked and popular has its place, but who we are in the quiet moments that we spend with God is essential to the discovery of his true purpose for our lives.
Michelle D. Jackson is the author of the inspirational novel, The Heart of a Man. Follow her on Facebook @AuthorMichelleDJackson.